Dr. D. The Parent Trainer

It’s inevitable that pre-teens will be interested in joining the world of social media. I’d like to share what my husband and I created to help our 12-year-old son make wise choices in his use of social media. Feel free to use the contract we created below for your child.

Decision Making Guidelines

The more independence and autonomy that you want to experience in your decision making will rely heavily on how you adhere to and apply these guidelines to your thinking and decision making.  It is simple, the better decision maker you become…the more opportunities you will experience.  Follow the guidelines below and you will be well on your way to a better deciding you!

 Ask Permission

Always check to see if what you want to do is within our family guidelines.  Ask yourself this question to test to see if you should ask – “How will my decision affect my family if I don’t ask permission?” “How will my parents view and look at my decision when/if they find out?”  Keep your parents in the information loop, share with them what you like to do.  Give them the opportunity to let you know if this makes sense for your family values and guidelines.

If you know better…then do better

 Always count the cost

Remember to check to make sure you know what you need to do to enjoy the new experience or opportunity.  Ask yourself these two questions…”What does my decision require of me?” and “What does my decision require of my parents?”  Never forget the hidden cost that you, as a young person, may not know.  This is why you need to always have a conversation with your parents to help you count the cost.

Never show up at the cash register without knowing the cost of the item you want…and the resources that you have.

 Alarms and Alerts

Never do anything without exercising these safety rules.  Ask yourself these two questions…What do I need to know to keep me safe?” and “What do my parents need to know to ensure I am as safe as possible?”  Whatever you are deciding will always impact your safety…big or small – your safety is a huge responsibility that your parents do not take lightly.  If you don’t know the answers to these questions, ask your parents.  If you think you know the answer, share your answers with your parents to reassure them or to allow them the opportunity to guide with more information.

 

Walk in the light with wisdom…any other choice leaves you lost in the dark.

I, ________________________________________________________, do understand the Decision Making Guidelines established by parent(s), ______________________.  I accept that my parents have been led by God through the Holy Spirit to provide a spiritual and physical protection for me.  As a recipient of these blessings and benefits, I will bless my parents and honor God by accepting these guidelines, understanding these guidelines and doing my best to live by these guidelines.  If at any time, I don’t understand or have questions about these guidelines, I can ask my parents for any opportunity for a conversation to discuss my questions or concerns without fear of reprimand or punishment.  I understand that in choosing not to follow these guidelines will cause me to experience consequences and following these guidelines will allow me to reap benefits.  Either experience will be the result of my own decision making.

I understand that I will be asked to review and sign this yearly with my parents to adjust and expand guidelines as I develop into the young man and young woman that God has destined me to be.

 

__________________________________________________________

Child’s name

 

 

___________________________________________________________

Parent’s name

 

 Electronic Device Expectations

1. Charge only in the dining room or kitchen
2. Use only in family area-not in bedroom
3. If a privilege is lost, the device will not be in use for a minimum of two weeks – if asking for it sooner, it will be gone another week each request
4. No use after 8 p.m. on Sunday thru Thursday and not after 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday (if there are no early morning functions)

 

Social Media Expectations

1. You will not practice sneakiness or try to participate in social media without your parents’ awareness.
2. At this time, no Facebook or Snapchat.
3. You will make your parents aware of any account that you have currently; there will not be any duplicating of accounts.
4. You will invite us as friends or followers of your account and will check your followers/friends out in their social media presence.
5. We will go over the security risks and safety protocols prior to using any account.
6. You will plead your case to your parents as to why you need the accounts you have and why you want additional accounts.

 

Abiding by above expectations will allow you the benefit of enjoying these blessings and will show us that you are operating in wisdom.  Failure to adhere to these expectations will cause you to experience the consequences of your choice which will be: 1) removal of electronic devices for a minimum of two weeks or 2) loss of social media presence for one month with a factory reboot for your devices.

 

_______________________________________________________________

Child’s name

 

_____________________________________________________________

Parent’s name

In this life journey, we need superheroes and heroes.  A superhero is birthed from our imagination and inspires us to dream.  A hero is forged in the moment of where a need meets its answer that changes its destiny.  As people, we are blessed to be in the presence of each.  However, we have a tendency not to recognize a hero until they leave their mark by their action.  I challenge each of us with a “Hero Challenge,” which means to become what is needed to change the course of destiny for others…Change a life – become a hero…

We see the superhero arriving on the scene…we recognize the hero after they’ve gone

A superhero wears capes and costumes to hide their identity…a hero is hidden because of their everyday clothes or uniform

A superhero seeks out moments to intervene…a hero is already in the moment

A superhero has to hide their identity…a hero is known by many people – but doesn’t seek recognition

A superhero is fearless…a hero doesn’t let fear stop them

A superhero races to the rescue…a hero makes a decision not to stand and watch

A superhero rises above the normal person…a hero is a normal person

A superhero is born with a calling and purpose…a hero answers a call and accomplishes a purpose

A superhero has a super power…a hero thinks of others first – that is his or her superpower

Anyone can be a hero – it takes doing something that will make a difference in the lives of others and counting the cost after it’s done.  Becoming a superhero is probably not possible for most of us but being a hero can happen to anyone.  It takes intentional living towards others, living with a passion for others and loving others more than you love yourself.

Join me, parents, in either raising the superhero that you have been blessed with or bless the world with a hero in the making that you have.  Either way, you have a job with a mighty destiny on your hands…don’t be afraid.  Do it to the best of your abilities…be a hero!

My fellow parent(s) – you are doing an amazing job!  Keep it up…your kids are worth it and your relationship with them can only become more amazing!  Till next time…Dr. D

Your personal parent trainer-keep pressing!