Parenting vs Bullying

Posted on by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.

bullying photoI honestly have to share, initially, when this comparison came across my heart, I was startled.  As a parent and pediatrician, bullying behavior is unacceptable and requires an immediate teaching and redirecting moment when seen in our children.

This comparison startled me because I had to consider bullying as a parenting technique that is real and used by many of us rather intentionally or unintentionally. If we as parents are making fun of kids when they make an honest mistake, it might feel like bullying to them.  If we make it uncomfortable for them to ask a question, by calling them names other than their name, it might feel like bullying to them.  If we forget as parents, that we have lived longer than our children and have more life experience; then remind them of their wrong decisions over and over and over again…it might feel like bullying to them.

It is bullying if your thought of “this will be funny” is more important than how your child will feel if you say what you want to say…how you want to say it.  As a parent who is trying to do it differently, remember that “bullying” starts at home.  Typically it is modeled in sibling interactions when they are making fun of one another. It starts as innocent teasing but when the reaction of making others uncomfortable brings joy and entertainment, it has crossed over into bullying.

I’m encouraging us as parents to start listening to ourselves and our children.  Let’s not just give excuses such as “boys will be boys” or “sibling rivalry, it’s supposed to be like this” or “they are just words…words don’t hurt” or “toughen up…your skin is too thin”.  Teaching and reminding family members that we have to be responsible for our words and the hurt or the healing they may cause…This is how we can break the cycle of bullying…

My fellow parent(s) – you are doing an amazing job!  Keep it up…your kids are worth it and your relationship with them can only become more amazing!

Till next time…Dr. D

Your personal parent trainer

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Published by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.

Welcome to my answer to a parenting housecall! I am a practicing pediatrician who has been asked on many occasions to come home with my families. I have been offered wallets (full of credit cards and checks-hehehe!) and even the invitation to, “please take my child for weekend”! Here is my 21st century version of a house call. This will be as close as I will get to most of you in going home with you. My dream is to provide you some practical and humorous tips to make your parenting journey appear more successful and definitely more enjoyable. Wisdom Moments is a resource that offers help in those moments when you feel like you are not leading the battle, let alone winning it. In those moments when you just need a little creativity but keep coming up with a blank. When those big ole’ eyes of your child are looking up at you , challenging – are you ready for this?! Instead of gulping and waving the white flag…drop by here for a little bit of parenting encouragement/reinforcement. Despite the humor I use to share my message, I want to reassure you have heard each request and take them very seriously. What I bring to the table is not only my credentials as an accredited pediatrician, but just as validating is that I, too, am a fellow parent in the trenches with you! So what I have to offer you, I pray, is creative, effective and grounded in truth and reality. This blog will become my way, for now, to be more available to you and to share my parenting pearls. So…a toast to christen this maiden voyage “May we laugh and cry together…may we agree and disagree…may we always encourage each other that our children are worth climbing every mountain, scouring every valley, crossing any desert – to find a parenting pearl that will positively change a course of action for us and them”.

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