A child crying triggers an inborn alarm system in us as adults. From newborn to teen years, it’s amazing how tears from our children brings us to our knees and cripples us as parents. In the newborn period, I’ve experienced a Star Trek moment. While examining a newborn, the child naturally began to cry. Grandmother and Mom, who initially were calmly giving me room to evaluate the baby… instinctively swooped to the bedside and began speaking in Klingon! It was an amazing moment for me because I love Star Trek! I felt like I almost understood them! However the baby did not…she cried even louder.
Why do we panic at the cry…it’s just a form of communication.
I’ve had distraught parents bring their precious little ones into my office because their baby cries when they lay them down. Mom is pacing the floor bouncing the baby. She is distraught and so tired that her eyeballs are sagging to her knees! The father is sitting in the chair looking dejected, tired and like a deer caught in the headlights because everything he has suggested or tried is not right! Or so he has been informed by the overtired Mom. And then there’s my real patient, the baby who is being bounced like a puppet who has lost his strings, to console him…when in fact the bouncing is probably making him feel worse…
Why do we panic at the cry…it’s just a form of communication.
In this rest of this month, I will share parenting scenarios and solutions to help coach you in interpreting and addressing the cries of your children a little bit differently. I hope to lighten the mood a little while giving you practical tips to make navigating this parenting journey with just a little more joy and little more effectiveness! Stay tuned…
By the way, in the first scenario, I just smiled to myself, calmly shared with Grandmother and Mom that I needed to hear through my stethoscope…they apologized and became quiet.” I finished my exam, wrapped the baby up and she stopped crying.
In this second scenario I responded to the parents’ concerns with a lot of reassurance, asked about their support system and gently placed my hand on Mom’s arms to stop her from shaking the child. Smiling, I ask “Who’s holding the baby all the time?” They both look at one another and then back at me, smiling and desperate. I began my discussion on why newborns cry and ultimately end in…”Babies will get used to whatever we allow them to get used to. If they are used to falling asleep in someone’s arms and you go to put them down, they will startle themselves awake. Place them in their safe sleeping space when they are sleepy but awake”. I encouraged them to not panic just because their baby is crying…it’s just another form of communication…matter of fact, it’s a newborn’s only way of communicating.
My fellow parent(s) – you are doing an amazing job! Keep it up…your kids are worth it and your relationship with them can only become more amazing!
Till next time…Dr. D
Your personal parent trainer
Dr. D. The Parent Trainer 