The R.A.C.E. acronym is a fire safety response that is taught universally. The goal is to prompt a similar “knee-jerk” response in everyone to quickly respond to a fire to ensure quick containment of a potentially dangerous situation. As parents, our initial response to our child’s cry is very similar to how we are trained to respond to a fire. However, typically we are not responding to a life or death situation. Although, I admit, sometimes it feels like it! Responding like this typically benefits your child ONLY for the moment. The only lesson that you teach in this moment is…”PANIC at all times about everything!” Here’s how it goes:
Rescue – We go into panic rescue mode as soon as we hear our child cry. We assume something has to be wrong, otherwise why would they cry? It is a response based in our biology for survival.
Activate alarm – The first question we ask…”what’s wrong or what happened?”
Contain the fire – We rush around to find a solution to what? Stop the crying…
Extinguish or evacuate – We feel successful when our child has stopped crying. We relax and begin to breathe easier. We won, right!?
So, how do you go beyond containing the problem of the moment to teaching life lessons? It’s not a R.A.C.E. but a P.A.C.E.
Prepare yourself – When we hear our child’s cry, we should intentionally prepare ourselves to respond, not in panic mode, but in a way that will effectively meet our child’s needs.
Adjust your voice – Take a deep breath, lower your voice and slow down your rate of speaking just a little.
Calm yourself – Your child is already upset about something. Should both of you be upset? Take a moment and calm down before you approach your child.
Evaluate the situation – Now in a more prepared fashion, you can see what is causing the “distress” for your child and have a better chance at providing an effective solution that will teach for a lifetime instead of just focusing on stopping the “cry”.
Yes, I know there will be and are situations that require a “super-parenting” effort. These include when you are sleep deprived and you have a newborn, you have multiples, you are in a quiet place, such as church and your child lets out a banshee wail. But guess what? P.A.C.E. still works and the more you practice, the more this will become your new “natural” response.
My fellow parent(s) – you are doing an amazing job! Keep it up…your kids are worth it and your relationship with them can only become more amazing!
Till next time…Dr. D
Your personal parent trainer
Dr. D. The Parent Trainer 