Here are some pointers from an Empowering Parents newsletter to help determine if there is too much verbal volley occurring between you and your child. It begins with a challenging premise that the root of most parent/child power struggle is your child learning how to advocate for himself. The following excerpt made me pause…
“For starters, a bold, assertive personality is often characteristic of a successful leader. As kids grow older and learn how to negotiate effectively, they become better prepared for adulthood. Skills like speaking up, debating and standing up for yourself can all lead to a rewarding career path.
Remember, your goal isn’t to make power struggles go away or change your child’s personality; your goal is to teach your child the skills they need to be successful. Kids need to learn how to have power struggles in a way that’s not a personal attack —- that means it’s up to parents to teach the skills to negotiate constructively, and to set limits as needed.” (Denise R., Empowering Parents Coach)
So, my fellow parents we must improve our negotiation skills to promote construction instead of destruction. Remember that our words should NOT cause an “emotional blood shed”. We should not resurrect past failures in order to use present humiliation as a learning tool. Always look for the “educable moments” to turn unfavorable choices into learning opportunities. Always remember: Your child is watching you while listening to you. Make sure the lesson that you are living represents the lesson that you are trying to teach.
This parenting opportunity is an opportunity of a lifetime!
Dr. D…
Published by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.
Welcome to my answer to a parenting housecall! I am a practicing pediatrician who has been asked on many occasions to come home with my families. I have been offered wallets (full of credit cards and checks-hehehe!) and even the invitation to, “please take my child for weekend”!
Here is my 21st century version of a house call. This will be as close as I will get to most of you in going home with you. My dream is to provide you some practical and humorous tips to make your parenting journey appear more successful and definitely more enjoyable.
Wisdom Moments is a resource that offers help in those moments when you feel like you are not leading the battle, let alone winning it. In those moments when you just need a little creativity but keep coming up with a blank. When those big ole’ eyes of your child are looking up at you , challenging – are you ready for this?! Instead of gulping and waving the white flag…drop by here for a little bit of parenting encouragement/reinforcement.
Despite the humor I use to share my message, I want to reassure you have heard each request and take them very seriously. What I bring to the table is not only my credentials as an accredited pediatrician, but just as validating is that I, too, am a fellow parent in the trenches with you! So what I have to offer you, I pray, is creative, effective and grounded in truth and reality. This blog will become my way, for now, to be more available to you and to share my parenting pearls. So…a toast to christen this maiden voyage “May we laugh and cry together…may we agree and disagree…may we always encourage each other that our children are worth climbing every mountain, scouring every valley, crossing any desert – to find a parenting pearl that will positively change a course of action for us and them”.
View all posts by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.
Dr. D. The Parent Trainer 