Talkback Tuesday: Practice makes permanent

Posted on by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.

Dr. D., Sometimes, I feel so inadequate as a parent.  How do I make sure I am the best parent for my child?

First, let me reassure you that you are not alone.  All of us who are striving to be the best parents we can for our children experience moments of “am I doing the right thing?”  This is a great question to ask.  This line of “talking to yourself” leads you into self- coaching.   Maybe how you are responding in the moment might not get you and your child to the outcome that you would like to experience.  If this is the case, redirect yourself, then redirect your child.  It is okay to change direction – it is okay to stop – tell your child this is not going in the direction that is going to lead us to a positive resolution.  Then, start over. I call these do overs, examples of grace, and better yet, examples of mercy.

The wrong direction begins with “I can’t do this” or “This is harder than I thought” or “I’m no good at this.”  These statements don’t encourage a dialogue; they tell you “who you are”.  The mindset behind these statements does not allow for redirection let alone creativity to look at your “not-my-best parenting moment” as a way to learn and redirect to try it again.

Remember that practice makes permanent!  If you are a perfect parent, then there is no way you are able to parent your less-than-perfect child.  Forget about perfection and keep practicing.  On a sports team, you show up for practice you get to learn techniques on how to work as a team member and the skills it takes to play a game successfully.  In a game, it is an opportunity to apply what you have practiced.  The beauty of this strategy is that you show up and participate in practice. Skills become permanent. You have a much better chance of winning.  Whether you win or lose, you show up, you get to play and enjoy the game!

So my fellow parents…show up, participate and practice better parenting skills and they will become permanent. Most importantly, you and your child will make more amazing memories!

Be blessed and enjoy the journey…

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Published by Tamara Dickerson, M.D.

Welcome to my answer to a parenting housecall! I am a practicing pediatrician who has been asked on many occasions to come home with my families. I have been offered wallets (full of credit cards and checks-hehehe!) and even the invitation to, “please take my child for weekend”! Here is my 21st century version of a house call. This will be as close as I will get to most of you in going home with you. My dream is to provide you some practical and humorous tips to make your parenting journey appear more successful and definitely more enjoyable. Wisdom Moments is a resource that offers help in those moments when you feel like you are not leading the battle, let alone winning it. In those moments when you just need a little creativity but keep coming up with a blank. When those big ole’ eyes of your child are looking up at you , challenging – are you ready for this?! Instead of gulping and waving the white flag…drop by here for a little bit of parenting encouragement/reinforcement. Despite the humor I use to share my message, I want to reassure you have heard each request and take them very seriously. What I bring to the table is not only my credentials as an accredited pediatrician, but just as validating is that I, too, am a fellow parent in the trenches with you! So what I have to offer you, I pray, is creative, effective and grounded in truth and reality. This blog will become my way, for now, to be more available to you and to share my parenting pearls. So…a toast to christen this maiden voyage “May we laugh and cry together…may we agree and disagree…may we always encourage each other that our children are worth climbing every mountain, scouring every valley, crossing any desert – to find a parenting pearl that will positively change a course of action for us and them”.

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