Parenting in the age of social media

It’s inevitable that pre-teens will be interested in joining the world of social media. I’d like to share what my husband and I created to help our 12-year-old son make wise choices in his use of social media. Feel free to use the contract we created below for your child.

Decision Making Guidelines

The more independence and autonomy that you want to experience in your decision making will rely heavily on how you adhere to and apply these guidelines to your thinking and decision making.  It is simple, the better decision maker you become…the more opportunities you will experience.  Follow the guidelines below and you will be well on your way to a better deciding you!

 Ask Permission

Always check to see if what you want to do is within our family guidelines.  Ask yourself this question to test to see if you should ask – “How will my decision affect my family if I don’t ask permission?” “How will my parents view and look at my decision when/if they find out?”  Keep your parents in the information loop, share with them what you like to do.  Give them the opportunity to let you know if this makes sense for your family values and guidelines.

If you know better…then do better

 Always count the cost

Remember to check to make sure you know what you need to do to enjoy the new experience or opportunity.  Ask yourself these two questions…”What does my decision require of me?” and “What does my decision require of my parents?”  Never forget the hidden cost that you, as a young person, may not know.  This is why you need to always have a conversation with your parents to help you count the cost.

Never show up at the cash register without knowing the cost of the item you want…and the resources that you have.

 Alarms and Alerts

Never do anything without exercising these safety rules.  Ask yourself these two questions…What do I need to know to keep me safe?” and “What do my parents need to know to ensure I am as safe as possible?”  Whatever you are deciding will always impact your safety…big or small – your safety is a huge responsibility that your parents do not take lightly.  If you don’t know the answers to these questions, ask your parents.  If you think you know the answer, share your answers with your parents to reassure them or to allow them the opportunity to guide with more information.

 

Walk in the light with wisdom…any other choice leaves you lost in the dark.

I, ________________________________________________________, do understand the Decision Making Guidelines established by parent(s), ______________________.  I accept that my parents have been led by God through the Holy Spirit to provide a spiritual and physical protection for me.  As a recipient of these blessings and benefits, I will bless my parents and honor God by accepting these guidelines, understanding these guidelines and doing my best to live by these guidelines.  If at any time, I don’t understand or have questions about these guidelines, I can ask my parents for any opportunity for a conversation to discuss my questions or concerns without fear of reprimand or punishment.  I understand that in choosing not to follow these guidelines will cause me to experience consequences and following these guidelines will allow me to reap benefits.  Either experience will be the result of my own decision making.

I understand that I will be asked to review and sign this yearly with my parents to adjust and expand guidelines as I develop into the young man and young woman that God has destined me to be.

 

__________________________________________________________

Child’s name

 

 

___________________________________________________________

Parent’s name

 

 Electronic Device Expectations

1. Charge only in the dining room or kitchen
2. Use only in family area-not in bedroom
3. If a privilege is lost, the device will not be in use for a minimum of two weeks – if asking for it sooner, it will be gone another week each request
4. No use after 8 p.m. on Sunday thru Thursday and not after 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday (if there are no early morning functions)

 

Social Media Expectations

1. You will not practice sneakiness or try to participate in social media without your parents’ awareness.
2. At this time, no Facebook or Snapchat.
3. You will make your parents aware of any account that you have currently; there will not be any duplicating of accounts.
4. You will invite us as friends or followers of your account and will check your followers/friends out in their social media presence.
5. We will go over the security risks and safety protocols prior to using any account.
6. You will plead your case to your parents as to why you need the accounts you have and why you want additional accounts.

 

Abiding by above expectations will allow you the benefit of enjoying these blessings and will show us that you are operating in wisdom.  Failure to adhere to these expectations will cause you to experience the consequences of your choice which will be: 1) removal of electronic devices for a minimum of two weeks or 2) loss of social media presence for one month with a factory reboot for your devices.

 

_______________________________________________________________

Child’s name

 

_____________________________________________________________

Parent’s name