While on a family vacation recently, I learned the difference. It had been a very long time since I had spent 24/7 for more than a weekend with my family…alone. It started off as an adventure. I decided for the first time to try not to over plan this trip. I did not reserve a room for the night. I thought once we had enough of riding in the car we would stop in one of the larger cities that we were driving through and find a hotel room. Easy, right? WRONG!!! One by one, we were told they had no rooms available. The smart establishments put a sign on the front door apologizing for no vacancies. My daughter sweetly asked for permission to go to sleep. I said sure, and thanked her for asking so nicely. Forty-five miles later, we arrived at the hotel that I looked up and booked on my phone while my amazing husband continued to drive.
We got up well rested the next morning and headed towards our destination. We arrived about 8:30 that night, delayed by road construction and rest breaks. We were all giddy and excited! We got to our unit door and there was a keypad – for which I had not received a code. This was my first time using a vacation rental by owner. I was still in “hotel” mode and expected someone to check us in. Almost two hours later, after sitting in the parking lot at what we thought was the condo management office, we were informed that they did not manage the unit we had rented.
My wonderful husband held it together and did not ask a lot of questions and my children laughed when I said that I wanted this to be an adventure for us but I didn’t expect it to be like this! We giggled and headed to the McDonald’s across the street for free wi-fi for me and a “nutritious” meal for my family. Thank God they had a play area!
By 11 p.m., we checked into a hotel and, by 11:30, the owner of our rental unit called and asked were we still there and that he thought he had sent me the code, apologetically. Sleepily, I replied that I had not received the code, no we were not still at the unit and that we had checked into a local hotel. I received the code and the kids woke up and memorized the code.
What I learned looking back on this amazing time with my family is that there are always choices. As a thermostat parent, you set the temperature and you adjust it based on your circumstances and what your family needs to stay in balance. As a thermometer parent, you read the temperature, but you don’t guide the changes that are needed or necessary to make adjustments based on your family needs. I didn’t realize that I was doing this until we stopped to have lunch at a picnic table outside of a gas station/gun store on our way home. There were hunting sheds for sale next to the picnic table.
As I was unpacking our food, my whole family began to complain about the bugs flying around, the smell of the area, the sun was moving and it was too hot, and, lastly, it wasn’t in a private area…that everyone could see us! I sweetly smiled, laughed and asked, “Did anyone see that larger-than-life pig statue in front of the store!” They all looked and my children began to laugh with me! Remember what kind of combination store I said it was? That is what I was laughing at!
Stay in the moment and enjoy the journey!
Dr. D. The Parent Trainer 